Not knowing when the refreshing moments of calm arrive at my doorstep, I frequently seek the face of Christ among my daily routine. Whether it be while I’m driving back and forth along Lima’s challenging traffic, or when I’m walking along the desolate alleyways of Lima’s central pathways, I’m aware of God’s presence. He truly provides a healing balm through the moments of every day. However, His presence lends me the simple knowledge that within my soul, all is well.
Unfortunately, there is a ongoing pain that haunts me every day of my life. It’s a hasty twinge that I get every time that I breathe in deep, and I dread it, but I realize that its yet to come.
The other day I was feeling a bit lost in the pain, so I sought Scripture. Its one of those answers that I find completely wholesome to digest. God’s living word also calms the searing fire of pain that licks at my heart.
“How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord;
My heart and my flesh cry out
For the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
And the swallow a nest for herself,
Where she may have her young-
A place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell
In your house;
They are ever praising you.
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
Who have set their hearts
As they pass through the valley of Baca,
They make it a place of springs;
The autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength
Till each appears before God is Zion.
Psalms -84: 1-7
I guess I always knew that it would happen, but I never thought it would happen to me this way. As my father always states, “Life is pretty much a series of surprises.”
But why? Why?
I was grieving these precious moments of life gone. I was spending time with my daughter when I captured here standing up and peeking into her new toy that her mom and I had purchased the evening before. My little girl loves steering wheels, and has taken to the wheel of our cars on various occasions. I certainly hope that I’m not promoting her love for cars in case she would ever seek the race car driving profession, however, nonetheless, she loves wheels.
As I peered over her new toy, I sensed a moment of sadness that I feel that I’ve not learned everything that I need to know to be a father. I felt a bit insecure that I may make mistakes in training up my daughter in the way she should go. How will I be able to protect her? How will I be able to teach her valuable lessons that will shape her character?
I thought about that long winded walk that I’ve experienced since my mother’s death. I thought about the dangling sense of cobwebs that stick to my heart when I think of my mother’s life cut too short. She now has found a safe place near His dwelling place and is forever praising Him. She found those resting pools of refreshment as her heart was set on the place of God.
As I prayed about my ongoing grief, I noticed my little girl looking back with a smirk. She beamed with excitement that she could tackle another steering wheel. As I snapped a photograph , I reeled back with surprise. In the photograph, my mind raced back to a time long ago when I remembered viewing a photograph of my mother with the exact same face. It was a joy filled moment of seeing how my family’s legacy continues on into the future generations to serve, love, and live for the Lord Jesus Christ. I found my pool of refreshment today and I give thanks for God for sending His peace to flood my soul.